


Secrets and Strikes

by jilyfish



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Marauders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:54:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28432755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jilyfish/pseuds/jilyfish
Summary: Lily Evans enters her sixth year determined to feel like she belongs. She's unbothered by the mutterings of mudblood but bothered by the overwhelming feeling that perhaps mudblood is all she ever will be. James Potter has made a pact with his best friend Sirius Black that this year he'll concentrate on anything, anyone, other than Lily Evans.But with Lily's blooming friendship with Sirius, James' shrinking bigheadedness and unfolding, painful secrets that press on new wounds, James earns strikes and Lily earns secrets.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1: Lily's Return

“Have you got everything? All sorted?” I look back towards my parents, who stood beside one another, smiling warmly with a hint of that all-to-familiar hint of sadness in their eyes. 

“I’m pretty sure.” I tell them, moving the handle to my large trunk between my hands. “I can send an owl if not.” 

“An owl, right.” My dad’s mouth sets firmly into a line. Even six years of watching me disappear into a wall between platforms 9 and 10 had not changed the shock that the world he knew was not exactly as it had always seemed.

But, they are muggles. And whilst being born to two muggles is often a challenge, especially in the current climate of our world, they had never once seemed averted to my world. A world completely separate from theirs. 

My mum pulls me into one final hug, before moving backwards, shuffling her feet closer towards platform 9. Whilst I balance the trunk in my left hand, my wand secured in my right pocket, I wave to them as I take off towards the wall in a run. 

Yet even as I enter the world of magic,  _ my _ world of magic, as I stare at that same Hogwart Express, even as wands appear before me, being held by cocky seventh years or wondrous first years, as animated chocolate frogs jump across the floor or a witch fixes her son’s glasses with a simple wordless spell, I can’t believe I am here. 

Summer had passed by like a happy dream. My OWL’s had returned with outstanding grades, and my parents could actually measure my success from academia, my sister could scowl in jealousy as they gave me £300 to exchange for  _ my _ currency, and still my good news continued; a letter of congratulations from Professor McGonagall, my head of house and a prefect badge to keep once more. 

But, even as I felt my place in the wizarding community became stronger and stronger, as I begin to plan my future outside of Hogwarts, the cloud of  _ that _ day had continued to plague my thoughts before sleep. 

_ I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just -  _

_ Slipped out? But you call everyone of my blood ‘Mudblood’, Severus. _

My very first friend, Severus, long before Hogwarts existed, long before I was a witch, had  _ told _ me that my muggle-born blood had never mattered.

Yet here we are, a friendship with no hope of repair, and my worry that my muggle blood will forever continue to hold me back.

Especially with the way our world is headed. 

“Evans!” My head shoots up in response to the calling of my last name. Well aware that there are only two people in this world that could address me in such a way. Luckily, it is Marlene. 

“Mar!” I call back. 

My best friend, Marlene McKinnon fights across children much smaller than her to reach me. With her bright, auburn hair we have always been called the Gryffindor Twins, purely due to our similar hair colour. Other than that, despite being best friends, we often found ourselves with furiously different opinions. Her brown eyes glint mischiviously as she finally darts past the final Ravenclaw that was in her way and pulls me into a hug, her long arms wrapping me up into a warm embrace. 

“I can’t believe we’re two minutes in and I’m already getting annoyed by the  _ pissing _ first years.” Marlene swears, her furious yet bubbly brown eyes darting around, looking at the nervous children as they say goodbye to their equally nervous parents. 

“Don’t be mean.” I tell her, nudging my arm into her elbow, even as her arm rests on my shoulders, continuing our embrace. “We were them once.” 

“Well, actually, no we weren’t. It took at least until Christmas for us to be friends.” She wiggles her eyebrows as me, even as she turns to get onto the Hogwarts Express. 

As I step on, I don’t bother looking behind me.   
“And who is to blame for that?” I reply, equally as silly and giddy to finally be reunited with Marlene. 

“Definitely you.” 

“Definitely not,” at this, I snort. With Marlene ahead of me, she pokes her head into every carriage, huffing with impatience as every carriage carries students who had arrived much earlier than us. “If you weren’t such an arrogant toerag I could’ve easily been friends with you by the end of our first week.” 

“No- you were too busy dipping your toes into greener pastures.” She laughs at this, but then clearly thinks better of it, her worried eyes looking behind her at me now. “Sorry, too soon?” 

“Nah, I’m over it.” I brush bright red hair from my face as I say this, trying to distract myself from her questioning gaze. “I spent the whole summer mourning a friendship that, for the most part, wasn’t how I had always viewed it. Where’s the line? Calling Mary a, well,  _ that word _ , is  _ fine _ but he wasn’t calling me that? I don’t know why I let it slide for so long. He’s no friend of mine.” 

“Well, being completely selfish about it, I’m just glad I get you  _ all _ to myself.” Marlene, at this, grabs onto my hand, pulling me even quicker down the corridor of the train, just as I hear the train’s horn blow and we begin to pull off, towards  _ home _ . “Although I suppose I’ll have to share you  _ sometimes _ .” She glances back, rolling her eyes as she opens the door to the carriage, and a welcoming scream envelopes me as I enter. 

“I’m so happy to see you both!” Just as Marlene is released from a talon-like grip, I am pulled into it. Dorcas Meadowes, another best friend wraps her arms around my neck, jumping up and down as she screams with joy in my ear. “Honestly, I didn’t know how much longer I’d be able to hold onto this carriage with just little old me to hold it down!” 

Marlene and I sit opposite Dorcas, who has already spread her belongings across her side of the carriage. A potions textbook is discarded onto the floor of the carriage. 

“How were your summers?” Dorcas asks, but even before I can mutter a quick response, Dorcas has taken breath and continues to speak, “Mine was  _ such _ a bore. Honestly, I feel  _ so  _ out of the loop because it has been  _ that _ long. I just feel like I’ve barely replied to your letters and I’m so sorry for that but did you hear about  _ Revenna _ ?” 

Before I can find out about Revenna Wilkes, the Slytherin prefect who is also in sixth year, our carriage door slides open once more. 

In walks Mary MacDonald, the final friend to complete our Gryffindor Four, and as Dorcas emits another loud scream, the excitement of sixth year reverberates around my brain once more. We are finally NEWTs students, and this year means that we can begin to think of our futures. I can decide where I want to go and what I’d like to do. Even though my ideas of a career inside the wizarding world is so very slim, I can never stop smiling at the possibilities. 

Mary, with her shorter frame and cheerful smile is easily the most popular of us all. With dates lined up to take her out, friends whose names we have never even heard of and a social calendar packed with opportunities, she always feels like the most outside of our group, and yet she is always the one to hold us together. 

For Dorcas’ shallow remarks, Marlene’s fiery temper and lately, my subdued melancholy, Mary would take us aside, check up on us and ensure that the Gyrffindor Four never break apart. 

“Oh, I’ve missed you girls!” Mary exclaims, holding onto my hand as she sits beside me. 

Over the summer, Mary’s long blonde locks have been chopped into a short pixie cut, framing her ears and she could pass as a seventh year called Alice Prewett. 

“Your hair looks fantastic!” I tell her, reaching forward to grasp at the tiny locks. What a difference in comparison to the long blonde hair that is now gone. “It makes me want to cut mine too!” 

“Never!” Gasps Marlene, and she now begins to trace her fingers through my hair, which is so alike to hers. Both of us have kept our long, wavy auburn locks throughout our time together, no matter how often we have been mistaken for one another. “We wouldn’t be the Gryffindor Twins without our signature hair!” 

That’s how our morning ensues; the four of us exchanging jokes, stories of summer and predictions for the year ahead. The first year of our NEWTs, the start of the rest of our lives. 

“Lily?” Our reverie is broken apart by a fellow Gryffindor. Looking up, Remus Lupin’s face smiles back at me, already changed into his Gryffindor clothes as the shiny, red P glints back at me. “We have our Prefects meeting now, I thought I’d just let you know.” 

“Oh shit- thank you!” I reply, jumping up from my seat in the carriage, just as Marlene shouts out after me, 

“Remember Prefects watch their language, Evans!” 

Laughing as we exit, the sun lights up Remus’ face as it shines in from the train’s windows. I force back a shudder as his usually scarred face illuminates in purple and red lines, which pattern across his face, a patchwork of unexplained and unrelated injuries. Because that was Remus Lupin - scarred, with the ghosts of his troubles forever haunting his eyes. Unless, of course, in those quiet moments in the common room when he is content in a good book, answering questions in a particularly interesting Transfiguration lesson or, of course, usually when with his best friends. Because Remus Lupin would not be himself, scars and all, without his three best friends; Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black and James Potter. 

“How was your summer, Lily?” Remus asks, as we dodge chocolate frogs that hop against windows and stray water-activated fireworks which neither of us bother to investigate. 

“It was good. Quiet, but good. And yours?” 

“Good, also.” He responds. “I went to stay with James with Sirius and Peter for the last two weeks of summer.”

“And how was that?” I ask, feeling my shoulders grow tense even as Remus mentions his friends. Whilst Remus and I had always been  _ friends _ , I couldn’t afford that description for the rest of his friends. 

“Hectic. You know Potter and Black, never-stopping.” He shrugs, as if knowing that I had only asked to be polite. “Did you see much of your friends this summer?” 

“Not really - Mary lives in Aberdeen so she was too far to see. Marlene and I met up in Diagon Alley to purchase our textbooks for this summer and went out together for a meal which was lovely. Dorcas was Dorcas and pretty much disappeared for the summer. I think I received probably two letters over the course of the summer.” Again, we laugh politely together. 

Before we are able to discuss any further, we reach the doors to the carriage. Even as I flitfully consider if I should’ve mentioned our OWL, to figure out whether Remus and I had achieved similar grades, or asked his NEWT subjects, to discover whether we would have any lessons together, our conversation is cut short. 

Entering the carriage, I smile at the seventh year Gryffindor prefect, Alice Prewett, who now looks so very similar to Mary MacDonald, even despite Alice’s mousy brown hair being so very opposite to Mary’s bright blonde. 

“Good afternoon everyone. Welcome to returning prefects and to our new fifth year prefects.” Embry Shepherd, our Ravenclaw Head Boy announces. He shines bright, white teeth at us in greeting. “Let’s get started before we arrive back at school, shall we?” 

Embry outlines our duties for this year, which, having been prefect last year also, is familiar to me. Sat beside Remus Lupin and Alice Prewett, my mind wanders to this upcoming year. After the academic stress of last year, I am cautiously hoping that the rumours about the workload of the NEWTs are just overdramatic sixth and seventh years rather than reality. I’d quite like less stress this year. Watching Embry, he smiles confidently as he speaks, easily able to catch our eyesight, keeping us engaged. Dumbledore knew what he was doing when he chose the attractive Embry Head Boy, he was made for the job. And even as he continues to speak about nothing that could capture my interest, I watch his attractive, animated face all the same. 

“How was your summer, Lily?” Alice asks politely. “I hope you got the results you wanted in your OWLs!” 

“I did really well thank you. I can take all the subjects that I wanted to, in my NEWTs so I’m really excited for my classes to start.” I reply with ease in our conversation. “What about your summer?” 

“It was nice to finally relax! Sixth year can be really full on. Frank and I spent most of the summer together, which was really lovely.” She smiles at me with a dreamy look on her face, talking about her boyfriend Frank Longbottom, who was also a Gryffindor prefect. 

“I was hoping the workload wasn’t going to be too bad…” I tell her honestly. Alice’s brown eyes widen in shock and I notice that she’s trying to suppress a smirk. 

“I hate to burst the bubble for you, Lily. But it’s going to be a hard year.” 

“That’s what I feared.” Remus says with a sad smile. “Did you have a good summer, Alice?” 

“It was really lovely, thank you for asking, Remus!” Alice responds, her kind face lighting up even as Frank walks over and takes hold of her hand. “Well I’ll see you both later!” 

After waving to Frank and Alice, it is only Remus and I left in the corridor of the train once more. 

“So, what subjects are you taking this year?” I ask, feeling curious towards the shape of our school year. It would be bizarre to only be taking those lessons with people who had also gotten the grades. Gone was Potions with only Slytherins and Charms with the Ravenclaws. Now, whoever had gotten the grade would be with us. 

“Defence Against the Dark Arts, Potions, Transfiguration, Charms and Muggle Studies. What about you?” 

“Pretty much the same!” I tell him, smiling widely at the thought of taking many of my subjects with Remus. “Except no Muggle Studies. I’m already a pro in that area.” 

Remus laughs, whether politely or not, and I’m suddenly swept away by my joke. If it had been heard by anyone else, maybe they wouldn’t have laughed like Remus the Half-Blood. Had it been Severus maybe he would’ve taken the opportunity to call me a Mudblood again. 

Sensing my sudden melancholy, Remus changes the subject. 

“So, which subject are you looking forward to the most this year?”

“Potions.” I answer immediately, knowing that my favourite subject is also taught by my favourite teacher, Professor Slughorn. A man who not only embraced my muggle-birth but openly praised me for being born that way. But, Potions also usually meant sitting next to Sev. Again, not a possibility now. I suppose I could sit next to Marlene, now, as she is taking Potions too. “What about you?” 

“Defence.” He grins, and it’s the first time I can see that spark of mischief that is often plastered across Remus and his friends’ faces. 

“Moony!” My next question is taken from my lips as I look down towards the voice, knowing that Remus was often called Moony, after an unfortunate incident for Remus when Sirius Black pulled down his trousers in the Gryffindor Common Room. Unfortunately, it had stuck and Remus’ three friends had called him that ever since. 

With his head stuck out from the carriage he was currently occupied, James Potter’s smiling face looks towards the two of us. “You’ve got to see this!” 

He gestures now with his arm, beckoning to his best friend. 

It’s clear over the summer that James has spent a lot of time outdoors, his skin warmed with a soft tan, and his blue eyes merely glance over me, where usually I would’ve seen them staring. 

_ Arrogant toerag _ echoes across my thoughts, cringing at one of our last conversations last term. Despite spending a James Potter-free summer, without the incessant questions of a date, I hadn’t expected such a cold greeting, or rather, no greeting at all. 

_ Hi Potter, how was your summer? _

How hard could that be? Start our year with a friendly greeting. I wonder what Marlene would say if she could hear my thoughts now, if she knew I was breaking the ice wall that I had set up the very first time that James Potter and his groupies had cursed Severus and called him Snivellus. 

Remus smiles at me, walking quicker towards the carriage, curiosity must be pulling him towards the carriage. If all three of them are in there, who knows what they’re getting up to. 

I open my mouth, ready to say it.  _ Hi Potter, how was your summer? _ It’s easy. I could say it to anyone on this train, so why not him? 

“Alright Evans?” He asks, brown eyes barely glancing over me, before his head disappears, his untamable hair the last sighting of him until I’m left in the carriage alone. 

Well, that’s new. Is  _ he _ aloof with  _ me _ ?

_ “Evans.” He had called, the last time I’d seen him.  _

_ “What Potter?”  _

_ “Now is that any way to greet a chap?” He smirks, running his hands through his hair. The very same movement that a few weeks ago I had shouted at him for. Some things never change.  _

_ “Oh, and saying my last name is greeting is a way to greet a lady?”  _

_ “I can’t see any ladies around here?” He smirks again, his head looking around the corridor of the Hogwarts Express. My hands feel the urge to slap his arm but I can’t help the smile that breaks out onto my face too. “I’m glad that made you smile. I was expecting a slap, I won’t lie.”  _

_ “You almost got one too.”  _

_ “You’d never, Evans.” At this, I raise my eyebrows at him. Just tempt me, and I will Potter. “Okay, you definitely would. Anyway, we’re getting sidetracked.”  _

_ “We are?”  _

_ “Yes. The real reason I wanted to speak to you wasn’t because checking on your gender or even to get a slap. Really… well… I just wanted to…” _

_ “Anytime before I’m forty years old please Potter.”  _

_ “I just wanted to check whether you’re alright, basically. If that’s allowed. I just wanted to check if you’re okay?”  _

_ I know immediately what he’s referring to. To the incident that he’d brought about. Even if Sev had cut the chords of our friendship, James Potter had created the situation for it to unfold.Again, he runs his hands through rugged brown hair, brown eyes crease at they look at me, barely able to maintain eye contact as I survey his face. He looks nervous.  _

_ “I mean I’m not amazing, but, well, I suppose I can be  _ thankful _ that the incident helped the truth come to the surface. Wouldn’t want to be friends with a muggle-hating maniac now would I.” I laugh, which gives him permission to laugh too.  _

_ I don’t think I’ve ever laughed with James Potter before.  _

_ Then, as if realising the exact same at the same time as me, James reaches forwards and for a moment I’m scared he’s taking laughter to mean that I somehow consent for an unconsenting kiss, but his hand moves, now rather than ruffling up his own hair, he is reaching forwards and the tips of his fingers graze softly against my cheek, prompting them to bloom in a blush, as he pushes a strand of red hair behind my ear, exposing a blush across my whole face.  _

_ “Have a nice summer, Evans. Hope you don’t run into any more muggle-hating maniacs.”  _

_ And even as he walks away, I can see his shaking hands, as I attempt to still my own.  _

“Lils?”  __ Mary’s head is now popped out of the carriage door beside James Potter’s. “You ‘kay?” 

“Yeah, prefect meeting was so boring, though.” I walk towards her now, trying to shake off the ghost of a blush from my cheeks, and forget the brisk greeting from Potter. 

One thing at a time, Evans. You’ve got a full year ahead of you. 

“Who’s Head Boy and Girl this year, Evans?” Marlene asks, whilst stuffing her face with a cupcake. 

“Tina Tamketh is Head Girl, the Hufflepuff.” Dorcas tells her, without looking up from her copy of Witch Weekly. “Embry Shepherd is Head Boy. Ravenclaw. Does he still have a crush on you, Lily?” She looks up at me with her wide almond-coloured eyes. Marlene whips her red head to look at me with wide eyes too. 

“He fancies you?” She screeches, her eyes darting from Dorcas and I. 

“I don’t think so.” I respond, laughing as Marlene drags me to my former seat beside her. 

“Why not?” 

“Well, I’ve never really spoken to him or even had much to do with him.” 

“He once asked Mary about you, didn’t he Mare?” 

Mary looks up, startled, as Dorcas reveals the information.

“Why do I bother telling you  _ anything _ Dorcas. You can’t keep anything to yourself.” She leans forwards. “All he did was ask once if you and James Potter were a thing. Obviously, I laughed in his face and told him there’s more chance of you going out with  _ me _ than with James Potter.”

“Nice.” 

“I only didn’t tell you because it happened around all of the stuff with Snape and I thought it may rub salt in the wound if you thought that because of  _ that _ , Embry Shepherd thought that you were dating James Potter. I was going to tell you but honestly it was so minor that I’d forgotten all about it.” 

“Lucky we have the world’s biggest mouth in our group then.” Marlene mutters, though still loud enough for Dorcas to hear. Dorcas turns her head to face Marlene in shock, who, with a clear bad mood rumbling inside of her, roughly grabs her bag and pulls out a Charms textbook that we needed to purchase for Sixth year. 

“Well, I don’t even fancy Embry Shepherd so there’s nothing more to discuss, I guess.” 

Our journey passes with more melancholic silence. Marlene, clearly bothered by our discussion about Embry, curls up on the chairs with her book resting on her knee, though the pages turning so slowly I imagine she’s not really taking in the information. Dorcas, looking up from a doodle occasionally to look at Marlene, surveying her closed body language and deciding not to ask her about the big mouth comment and Mary, sitting quietly whilst leaving every so often to have a chat with whoever may pass our carriage, able to leave the hostile environment. And me, alone with only my thoughts wondering sadly if I’ll spend every quiet moment mourning the death of my friendship with Severus Snape. 

At the feast, I catch my first glimpse of Severus, as he sits with a bunch of Slytherins. Whilst ordinarily he used to sit more on the outskirts, now he huddles in the middle, fourth and fifth years learning across each other to speak to  _ him _ and the other creeps who like to call muggle-borns mudbloods. It was clear that their hostility was seeping throughout most of Slytherin house as many looked at them in pride. 

Not far down from us at the table, Sirius Black watches the Slytherin table closely, and I wonder whether he’s looking out for his younger brother, Regulus. Usually, Sirius spent most of his time out of term with James Potter. The rest of them, James Potter included, laugh and surreptitiously throw food at one another, resulting in a small food fight breaking out between the four of them, which ended swiftly when a bagel hit Alice Prewett in the face and Frank Longbottom threatened to turn  _ their _ heads into bagels. 

James Potter laughs with his friends, and despite having many qualities I dislike about him, the only positive in his corner is the way that he can always be seen smiling with his friends. Even as Frank threatens all four boys and Peter Pettigrew blushes at the threat, Sirius barks with laughter and as his face throws back in laughter, James takes the opportunity to shove food into his laughing mouth, which causes Remus to snort into his glass of pumpkin juice. As Sirius swears, and Remus mops his face and Peter laughs whilst watching Frank Longbottom cautiously, I read the kind words off his pink, soft lips as he says them,  _ I’ve missed you, boys _ . 

And I realise, I, too, have missed this place, the people and the  _ feeling _ of being back at Hogwarts.


	2. Chapter 2: James' Return

Remus snorts into his pumpkin juice as I feel overwhelmed with the sense of belonging that often occurs when back at Hogwarts. Amidst the merriment of the Welcome Feast, my neck now fastened with a Gryffindor tie and even the added bonus of Quidditch captain too, I can’t suppress the words as I say them to my best friends. 

“I’ve missed you, boys.” I say to them, throwing an arm around Sirius Black, my best friend, my brother. “Like seriously, I think sixth year is going to be our best yet. Wouldn’t you say, Padfoot?” 

“Why would you say that Prongs my dear old pal?” Padfoot responds, smirking as his eyes glance towards Lily Evans. I don’t fall for the bait, despite knowing exactly who he was gesturing to. I won’t give him the satisfaction. 

“Well, we’ve all  _ almost _ achieved our goal of you know  _ what _ .” They nod, despite Peter looking down in shame. With our ultimate goal of becoming animagus together to help support Remus during his transitions into werewolf on a full moon, it is only Peter now who is yet to achieve it. “We have the map, the  _ best _ guide to mischief in Hogwarts  _ and _ we’re in bloody sixth year!” I pause, before adding. “Plus, I’m also Quidditch captain now so I feel like I have a lot of lives that I can make better.” 

“You just think you’re Merlin’s gift to quidditch don’t you, Prongs.” Sirius barks out a laughter, remidning me so much of his animagus form. Although, I often wonder if his laughter comes out in barks due to the amount of smoking he does. 

“OOh, I’m James Prongsy Potter.” Sirius mocks, running his hands through his chin-length, black hair. “I  _ love _ Quidditch because it makes me the  _ coolest of the school _ and I hope it makes Lily Evans notice me long enough to go out with me.” At this, I swipe my hand over his mouth, just as Alice Prewett looks at us, giggling at Sirius’ admission of my crush. Could we even call it a crush after this many years? 

“Thanks for that, Pads.” I mutter, and despite myself, my eyes go over towards where I know, call it instinctively, Lily Evans is sitting. 

“No. We have a pact. No whining, moping or staring near Lily Evans. You promised. We made a pact.” 

“I haven’t broken the pact, Padfoot. I was just looking around the room.” To try to convince him, my eyes continue their surveyance of the Great Hall, but skip rather generously over Slytherin so that I don’t have to give myself any added bouts of anger this evening.

“What’s this pact?” Remus asks, leaning forwards in curiosity. 

“James and I have made a pact. See, over the summer our Prongs got unbearable.  _ Am I really that arrogant? Do you think she’d be less annoyed if I had less hair? Will she go out with me if I become as greasy as Snivellus.”  _

“Hey, you said the last one, not me.” I intervene as Peter and Remus laugh at my expense. 

“Okay, fair enough.” Sirius concedes, he wags his fingers at Peter and Remus, now. “But the point still stands. You’re annoying, mate, and this is coming from your  _ best mate _ , imagine how she feels. So, we made a pact.” Despite myself, I look at her once more as she giggles with Dorcas Meadowes. “Eyes over here, pal.” Sirius clicks his fingers in my face at this. “He’s not allowed anything to do with Lily Evans, unless he wants to risk the  _ severe  _ consequences.” 

“Excuse me, we didn’t agree on any consequences?” I ask, my eyes narrowing at Sirius as he smirks at our friends. 

“No,  _ you _ didn’t. But I know exactly what your consequence now that the pact is already broken.” 

“Okay, let’s reset the pact.” I offer, “It’s only old habits Padfoot, it’s been  _ weeks _ since we were last here. Pact starts now and I’ll accept any consequence you give me.” 

“You’re definitely going to regret saying that.” Peter says, just as Sirius shouts, 

“Deal!” Causing many others to look in our direction. 

Though, even without looking at Lily Evans, I can feel her gaze look curiously over towards Sirius and his loud voice, too. 

“So, thirty sickles bets Prongs won’t last until Christmas.” Peter offers to Remus. 

“You’re on. I bet he won’t last till Halloween.” 

I would gasp in shock at the both, but I’d probably take those odds on for myself also. 

“So, if Prongs is taking part in this pact, is there anyone you’re not supposed to whine over, Padfoot?” Peter asks, and I watch thoughtfulness cloud his dark eyes as he looks at the Slytherin table once more. I daren’t call for an end to the pact as Sirius finds his brother, Regulus, amongst the crowd of less-than-desirable Slytherins. 

“Nah, I’m just here to support my pal Prongs.” Sirius says, wrapping his arm around my shoulder once more in a sign of brotherly solidarity, until he knocks my glasses from my head, which land into my chocolate pudding.

_ Okay, you don’t mope about Lily Evans and I solemnly swear you’ll hear no more about my stupid pissing family and my stupid pissing brother. Nothing about Regulus. No more attempts at “saving” him or “redeeming” anything because it’s clear there’s nothing to redeem.  _

_ You sure about this Padfoot? _

_ Call it solidarity with you, my friend. Besides, I have you for a brother and you’re a lot more stupid but a lot less bigoted so I’m on for a winner.  _

Remus disappears with Lily Evans in a whirl of Prefect stress as they attempt to round up the first years as Sirius and I grab remaining cupcakes. 

Upon leaving, we continue to stuff our faces with cupcakes. A curious noise stops our revelry, especially as the source of the noise becomes clear to be Peter. 

Our friend closes in on himself against a wall, in an attempt to make himself as small as possible, as a long wand presses into his chest. 

“Hey.” I call, as cupcakes tumble out from my hands and icing frosted fingertips reach for my wand. 

Sirius is slower than me as I run towards Peter and the Slytherin, Avery who is enjoying his creation of Peter’s squirming face. 

“Pick on someone your own size.” I yell, casting a leg-locking curse as I run towards them.

Avery protects himself easily with a shield, yelling a curse towards me as I run and I’m knocked back from my assault as he casts some sort of curse, which creates a small cut across Peter’s face. 

“Wanker.” I mutter, continuing in my charge until I reach him, throwing a whining Peter behind me as I cast a jelly-fingers curse, hoping this will slow down Avery’s assault. Again, he blocks this and I curse my memory for forgetting any kind of useful offensive spell from Defence Against the Dark Arts. I’ve clearly spent too much of my brain space on becoming an Animagus, but even turning into a deer in front of Avery’s stupid face won’t stop him with that hurtful glint in his black eyes. 

“Expelliarmus!” Yells Sirius, who has finally caught up to us, his robes splattered with pink cupcake frosting. 

“Nice one, Sirius.” I respond as Avery loses his wand. Though, whether Sirius was planning on being boastful or concerned, I wouldn’t have a clue, as Avery’s throws his strength behind his fist and knocks it into my face. 

“Fucking brilliant.” I sigh sarcastically, pulling Peter along with me, his palm pressed against his cheek as I wonder how much damage has been caused from his cut. Without a second glance behind him, Avery scarpers off, as if suddenly realising that three against one isn’t the greatest of odds for him.

“Brilliant indeed.” Sirius giggles as he hands me my glasses, which had fallen off in the punch. “Pureblood Avery resorting to a muggle brawl. Love it. Irony at its finest, my friend. You don’t get that kind of irony in the Noble House of Black.” 

“Well next time he can shove his irony into your face, not mine.” 

“It’s much more enjoyable when it’s in yours though. Plus I’m enough of a Pureblood Black, now at least you can half-join me with your Black eye.” 

“Piss off Padfoot.” I shove him with my hip as he attempts to jovially place his hands around my shoulders. “You okay, Peter?” 

“Why is it always me.” He moans, wiping away the blood from his cheek on his sleeve. “It’s never you or Sirius.” 

“I think it’s a case of wrong place at the wrong time Peter, my pal.” I tell him, though in all seriousness I am well aware that it always seems to be Peter. But again, I know it is because Peter wouldn’t give up much of a fight. Peter’s attempt at offensive magic is by whimpering, which offends me because he really should stand up for himself. 

“Perhaps the ladies will like you more with that battle scar though Peter?” Sirius offers, now rounding towards our smaller friend and putting his arm around him. 

Sirius always is the type to show his affection through actions rather than words. He could be ripping my self-esteem to shreds with a joke but still his brotherly arm will reach up to ruffle my hair, showing that he could never, ever, mean the joking words that he speaks. 

It’s probably why we will always get on so well, we speak the same language. 

“Don’t get any ideas though, Prongs, you just know Lily Evans  _ doesn’t _ like a rugged man with a black eye. She’ll be even more turned off than when you carried that snitch around.” 

“Don’t remind me.” I wince, thinking back to that summer and that incident. 

“You’ve also got a pact to uphold so  _ definitely _ don’t be getting any ideas that involve Lily Evans.” he chuckles, which makes Peter laugh too. “Good to hear you laugh, Pete. Shall I borrow Prongs’ cloak and sneak down to the kitchens to get you some more of those divine cupcakes?”

Peter nods, smiling at Sirius’ offer.

“Here we are, boys.” I say, looking at the Fat Lady’s portrait. Both Sirius and I turn to the portrait, pretending not to notice Peter as he wipes away a tear, then a streak of blood from his face. “We’re home.” 

“What the fuck happened to your faces?” 

We are greeted upon our entrance, as Remus stands to his feet, surveying both Peter and my faces. The common room has already emptied out, many going upstairs to unpack and chat with their friends in their dorms. Evans, unfortunately, remains inside and even her striking green eyes survey my face. 

“Avery decided he didn’t like it.” Sirius laughs. “I reckon it’s made Prongs more attractive, wouldn’t you say, Moony?” 

“Doubt it, you’re still an ugly git.” Remus responds with a dead-pan face.    
“Way to kick a man when he’s down, thanks Moony.” 

“Anytime, Prongs.” He then looks at me more seriously. “You are okay, though?” 

“Never better, thanks for asking. Anyone up for a game of gobstones?” 

After a rowdy game of gobstones, Peter returns to bed along with Sirius. Where, soon, only a few sixth years still remain in the common room with myself and Moony. 

“So, how was that last full moon? I’m sorry we couldn’t make it to be there with you, Moony.” 

“It’s not like you could’ve really helped, don’t worry about it.” Remus responds, looking down at the mess we have created on the table. “Not like how you can help with...you know.” He doesn’t say it, but I know he means our newly acquired skill of becoming different animals, due to being animagus. Despite knowing the implications for Remus, a large part of me is begging for the full moon to come soon. I’d never admit this to anyone but myself though. 

“Well… best get to bed Prongsm old pal.” Remus says. 

Call it fate, call it my hopeless hope, but for some reason I stay approximately 40 seconds longer than Remus, as he disappears up to the dorm. 

“Hi Potter, did you have a nice summer?” 

If Padfoot had a camera, he would’ve taken a shot of my face, as I looked up from my shoes to the strikingly beautiful Lily Evans. 

“Yeah, alright I guess Evans.” I respond, thinking of the pact and only of the pact, rather than wondering what she’s thinking of me. 

“Good. Cool. Are you taking Transfiguration at NEWT level?” 

“Yep.” I respond, though my brain is wondering why I’m not asking her any questions in return. Tell me Evans what your schedule is, so I know exactly how many hours out of my days I can be in your presence. 

Fuck you Padfoot and your stupid pact. 

“Me too. And Potions, it was my highest grade.”    
“Well done.” 

“Well… glad you had a nice summer. See you in Transfiguration, I guess.” Her emerald eyes break contact with mine, and I hope she can’t see the bead of sweat that I swear breaks out on my neck. Even as she walks back up towards the girl’s side of the dormitories, I’m begging the selfish part of me to call her back down. Let’s talk for hours, Evans. You know I want to. 

I’m begging for her to read my mind, even so she can know that the only reason I am acting this way is so that Padfoot can make it through the year, without incessantly worrying about his little brother as he continues to follow his parents’ decided path. I give him these little victories, let him uphold our pact as he holds himself together, too.

“Tell me I’m a wanker because I feel like one.” I groan to Moony once I enter the dorm to see both Peter and Padfoot sleeping in their beds. 

“I agree that you’re a wanker but I’m intrigued to know why you finally believe it too.” Remus casts a small Lumos spell, illuminating the space between our beds. “What did you do?” 

I recall my conversation with Lily, repeating it in a quiet whisper to Remus who takes it in with all of his wisdom. I’ve always told him going through the pain of werewolf transition has made him far wiser than the three of us put together. 

“This is why your pack is a stupid pissing idea.  _ Lily Evans _ asked you how your summer was, asked you about the subjects you were taking and you blew her off like the arsehole that you are. Fifth year James would be pissing himself in excitement at the prospect.” 

“Thanks for that imagery.” 

“You’re welcome.” Remus responds with a deadpan expression. Remus, the killer of sarcastic humour. “To put it mildly James, you’re always going to fancy her, it’s bordering on obsession and everyone can see it. Maybe it’s time to accept the consequence that Sirius will deal you and just keep doing what you’re doing, except without maybe as much arrogance.” 

“Is this so you can win your ten sickles from Pete?” 

“It was thirty actually. And if I win the bet you can keep the money as it definitely isn’t.” 

Silence encompasses the dorm, apart from Sirius’ soft snores and Peter’s hacking breaths as they both sleep soundly. 

“Lily Evans would be lucky to have a guy like you, James.” Remus tells me, with seriousness that only Remus, our resident werewolf, can possess. “Plus, Lily is the sweetest girl I’ve ever met so at least you have taste, even if you spend your days hanging out with us wankers.” 

“You sure you don’t fancy Evans too, Moony?” I ask, and I’m glad his Lumos isn’t too bright to see the murderous look that may be etched across my face. Sweetest girl he’s ever met? If that’s not a declaration of love if I ever heard one. 

“Never.” Remus responds, laughing. “So stop picturing the many different methods of killing me and focus on the point. Lily is the easiest friend I’ve ever had, much easier to talk to than I ever found you, or Sirius, or Peter in the beginning. And that’s just the person she is.” 

“I wish I knew her as well as you do.” 

“And I wish she knew you as well as I know you, Prongs. She’d recognise a good bloke underneath all the wanker outer shells.” 

“That was almost nice from you, Moony.” 

“I can have my moments.” 

  
  



	3. Chapter 3: Lily's Lessons

“Wake up, Evans. Wake up.” 

I groan into my pillow, even as a perky Marlene pulls away my sheets and pushes a bony finger into my ribs. 

“Five more minutes.”

“But there may be pancakes.” She reminds me, pressing another finger into my back. “C’mon Evans, we both love pancakes and pancakes there will be  _ if  _ you can get your arse out of bed!” 

“Fine, fine, I’m up.” I lean forwards, stretching my arms towards my toes in an attempt to feel more alive. Looking around, Dorcas and Mary have already escaped, no doubt scoffing on delicious pancakes that have Marlene and I’s names on. “I want pancakes.” 

“Me too, now get ready!” 

Marlene plays music as we dance around, red hair whipping around the room as the both of us shake our heads to the music. Singing along, I get ready quickly, just in time for the song to finish and Marlene to link her arm through mine as we make our way down to breakfast. 

“Good morning Lily.” Greets Embry, head boy, as we enter the Great Hall. And, remembering the conversation in the train carriage on the Hogwarts Express I can barely form a reply as Marlene smirks with satisfaction at my uncomfortable shy expressions. 

“He definitely fancies you, you lucky git. He’s  _ dreamy _ .” 

“I guess.” I respond, once I know he’s definitely out of hearing range. Embry Shepherd is not the average looking boy at Hogwarts, but one of the very best. He is tall, confident, charismatic and has beautiful blue eyes that could melt any girl. But, was I about to admit that to anyone other than myself? Definitely not. 

“I wonder if James Potter is going to ask you out over pancakes too.” She teases, still with her arm looped in mine as we reach Dorcas and Mary, who are talking over pancakes. 

“He barely spoke two words to me all of yesterday. I think he’s finally over his fixation, thank goodness.” 

“Doubt it.” Marlene laughs, as I watch her eyes peek further up the Gryffindor table. Automatically, I follow her gaze as James Potter shoves a mouthful of pancakes into his mouth, all the while looking at me. Feeling caught out, I muster up a smile, before turning back to the girls. 

“Have you had your timetables yet? It’s going to be so strange not having all of our lessons together.” Dorcas says, her eyes darting over her timetable. “I heard Peter Pettigrew is taking Divination too, I hope there’s someone else to talk to or I’ll die of boredom.” 

“Be nice. Peter is quiet but he’s okay once you get to know him.” Mary says, nudging Dorcas in the ribs. 

“Why am I not surprised you know him? You know everybody.” Marlene laughs, as she helps herself to two pancakes. Following her, I make sure to grab some of my own; they seem to be a popular choice this morning. “Bet you know all of his deepest, darkest secrets.” 

“Ooh, do tell!” Dorcas gasps, leaning into Mary. “Actually, don’t. Maybe I can get it out of him during Divination.” 

“I don’t think there’s much more than meets the eye, to be honest.” Mary shrugs. “Anyway, best grab your timetables from McGonagall, we have Charms first thing with Flitwick.” 

Just as she says this, McGonagall appears from behind us. Wordlessly reaching into her piles of timetables to hand both Marlene and I’s over. 

“I trust both you girls had a pleasant summer. I must say you have both done yourselves tremendously proud with your recent OWL grades. I’m very pleased to see you will both be continuing with your Transfiguration study.” 

“Can’t wait, Professor.” I respond, my eyes greedily taking in the information before me.

“And congratulations Miss Evans on your Outstanding grade in Potions. I am certain Professor Slughorn will tell you equally how proud he is of you.” 

“Thank you, Professor.” I respond, feeling a blush tinge my cheeks. 

“Is there anyone in this place that doesn’t worship the ground you walk on, Evans.” Marlene mutters as McGonagall walks away. 

“Everyone  _ loves _ Lily. Including me!” Dorcas says, who had only heard what Professor McGonagall had said. With my eyes still on Marlene, I’m shocked as she lets out a mocking huff in response to Dorcas.

I turn my cheek, expecting a teasing look to be on her face and I’m taken aback by the expression on my best friend’s face. As quickly as it appears, it disappears, being replaced by a neutral expression. What was that?

Without a further moment to reflect upon it, the four of us are moving up from our tables as the rest of the students appear to. Making our way to Charms, instead of having Marlene hanging off my arm, Dorcas takes her place. Equally as tall, but not as equally as lovable. 

“Sit next to me?” Dorcas asks as we enter the doorway, where Flitwick is waiting for us with a friendly smile. 

I wait for Marlene to interject, as she often does. The way it has always been is that Marlene and I sit together, as Mary and Dorcas do the same. Fearing the worst, I wait for Marlene’s voice to protest and when she doesn’t I know something is wrong. 

“Sure.” I say, plastering a fake smile on my face that I am certain does not reach my eyes. 

What could possibly have happened from our dance party this morning, to fantasising about mouth-watering pancakes, to now?

As I sit beside Dorcas, I feel other eyes on me and look up to see James Potter across from the classroom. As I look at him, he takes his glasses off his face and begins to wipe them on his robes. An act I’ve never seen him do before. I watch him do this, as he puts them back on his face, looking towards me, but he readjusts his glasses as he looks away. Has this habit replaced the hair scruffle? 

“So what’s going on with you and Marlene?” She whispers to me as Flitwick begins the lesson. I look towards my Gryffindor twin, who is fixated on her favourite teacher.

Of course, Dorcas has sat beside me, expecting simmering drama beneath the surface of our friendship. 

“No idea.” 

“Hey Remus,” removing myself from my seat beside Dorcas, I walk over towards Remus, in a desperate attempt to receive some friendly conversation. I’ve got to love Dorcas, but she was focusing too much on Marlene’s sudden hostility and Mary will care too much to talk about anything else. “Have you got Potions next?” 

“Yeah, I think we all do, don’t we?” He looks towards his friends, specifically at Potter, who nods, rather than looking at me. “Wanna walk together?” 

“Of course.” I respond, smiling gratefully as Remus gathers his things from his seat.

“How was your summer, Lily?” Sirius asks, whilst casting a furtive eye towards James. Why were they being so quiet with me? Usually I could never get them to shut up. 

“It was good, I guess. Spent some time with Marlene which was nice.” My throat stumbles over her name, as I try to block the negative thoughts that come sweeping through my brain. What is with her? “What about you?” 

“I’d say it was im _ pact _ ful, Lily. Though I did need to help James here with his pact- oops, I mean tact. Not a very tactful lad our Potter isn’t. We also went on a train, didn’t we James?”

“We did?” James asks, looking confused towards his friend. 

“Well, I suppose not  _ on _ a train. But we saw lot’s, as we stood by the train  _ pact- _ oops, I meant train track.” 

“That one was shit.” Remus tells him, nudging Sirius in the ribs, hard. 

“I’m confused.” 

“Aren’t we all, Lily. Especially James. He can barely keep  _ practed _ of sixth year and we’re only five minutes in.” 

“Do you mean tracked of sixth year?” 

“Yes, you’re right there again Lily.” Sirius says. “Well, since we’re all on our way to Potions why don’t us four escort you there, Lily?” 

I nod, moving the strap of my bag from one shoulder to the other as I beg silently that Remus will fall into step beside me, rather than Sirius or James. 

Thankfully, Remus does just that, and as I try desperately to ignore the telling sounds of James kicking, punching and swearing at his best friend, we make it down to the dungeons in time for Slughorn to exclaim at my entrance. 

“There she is! Miss Lily Evans! Almost full marks in your OWL! Although, I never expected any less from my top student. No one scored higher than except… well…” Professor Slughorn casts a furtive glance at Severus Snape, who glares at our Professor. “Never mind. I am tremendously proud. And, due to being such a high achiever, I don’t suppose you’d mind if I placed you next to one of our… ahem… lesser performing students. Sirius, would you please?” 

“I’m sure that Lily’s intervention in my Potions study will be im _ pact _ ful, Professor. Ouch,  _ Prongs you bastard _ .” Sirius appears from behind me, sitting himself beside the stool beside me as the both of us pull out our copies of  _ Advanced Potion Making _ . 

“Well, Lily Evans, I’m sure we’re going to be the best partners there ever was.” Sirius jokes, just as Slughorn reaches the front of the room. 

Even despite feeling awkward and uncomfortable at the prospect of working with Sirius Black, I’m surprised when Slughorn pulls us to task of preparing an invigoration draught and Sirius immediately rises from his seat to collect our ingredients, as I turn to the correct page in our books. Turning the cauldron to boil its contents, Sirius quietly stirs, waiting only until there is only waiting to be done to talk to me about things other than the potion. 

“Sorry if I was a prat earlier. Can’t help but be a sarcastic bastard when you are around James.” 

“Why?” I ask. “And you’re forgiven for the prat behaviour. After six years of knowing you, it doesn’t always come as a surprise.” 

“Ouch.” He mocks, clutching his chest. “James is his most easiest to wind up when you’re around. And don’t mock me by asking why because we both know it.” He looks over his shoulder, towards James, who glares as Sirius smiles at him. “Anyway, what’s going on with your other half? I’ve never seen her look so murderous.”   
“Honestly? I have no idea.” I tell him, even though I’m not sure why. Maybe because he asked? “She was fine this morning then poof, suddenly not fine. Hopefully all will be back to normal by the end of class.” 

As we finish up our potion, and Slughorn sums up today’s learning, he has one final parting thing to say to our class:

“As you all know I like to invite  _ ahem _ select students, shall we say, to my little gatherings a few evenings over the school year. I know that you, Miss Evans, have never missed a single meeting, I’m sure I can count on your attendance this year?”

Slug club, well of course. 

“Always, Professor Slughorn.” 

“And, Miss McKinnon? I hope we can see more of your face this year?” Professor Slughorn asks, now turning to my best friend. 

“Wouldn’t miss it, Professor,” She smiles, flashing her beautiful grin. Though, knowing Marlene as I do, I know that she does everything in her power to miss the occasions. But due to being Gryffindor’s top chaser, along with James, avoiding it can come easily to her. 

As the class assembles out, I realise I now have Transfiguration next with Marlene. 

“Slug club invites two years in a row? We must be doing something right.” 

“Probably sucking up, as per usual.” Marlene responds, with a venomous tone in her voice that I hadn’t expected.

“I’m sorry, is there something that I’ve done?” Before I even finish the question, Marlene skips on her feet, in an attempt to get further ahead than me. And as my name is called by Mary, Marlene escapes once more. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Not really,” I reply, looking back over towards the back of my best friend’s head. 

“It must be tough, having him there as a reminder of what happened.” 

“Pardon?” I ask, what is she going on about? Who is a reminder? And of what? 

“Snape. He was in Potions and I know the two of you used to sit together and always studied together, too. Must be hard him having there, like a constant reminder of the friendship.” 

Out of character, I laugh over the demise of my friendship with Severus. 

“Honestly, no. I’m more concerned about Marlene, to be honest. I’ve not had enough space in my brain to think about anything else.” 

“Marlene?” 

I repeat everything that I had picked up this morning, but even as I explain them aloud I can still see no reason for her odd behaviour. This isn’t Marlene. It definitely isn’t  _ us _ . We may both have tongues that are quick to turn fierce, but never are they used against one another. 

“I want to discuss this further, Lily. But you have Transfiguration and I feel like McGonagall will have your head if you’re late to your first NEWT lesson.” 

“Shit. You’re right.” 

“But I will say this,” Mary says, leaning her blonde head forward as she pulls me in for a quick hug. “I think maybe she’s just having an off morning and you’re overthinking things. She’s probably not even annoyed at you at all.” 

“I hope you’re right.” 

“I think I am.” She smiles confidently, turning her back to me as she embarks towards the Gryffindor Tower, as I make my way to Transfiguation. 

I enter the much, smaller class. Gasping as Marlene is already seated beside a Hufflepuff called Zara and I find an empty seat to take. The class is much smaller than Potions, owing to McGonagall’s higher expectations of OWL grades. Both Dorcas and Mary didn’t quite make it, and as the three boys from Gryffindor enter, it is clear Peter Pettigrew didn’t either. 

“You’re almost late boys. Please quickly and quietly take a seat.” 

I turn around again, looking as the three boys analyse the three empty seats. One of which, is beside me. I turn to face McGonagall whispering under my breath as I beg to Merlin or Gryffindor or  _ anybody _ that Potter won’t sit beside me. And my begs are answered, as Remus smiles at me. 

“No Marlene?” 

“It appears not.” 

By the time that Prefect Duties rolls around, with hours of the cold shoulder from Marlene, desperate begs for gossip from Dorcas and concerned eyes from Mary, I am desperate for Remus Lupin to confide in. And even as Embry Shepherd stands outside of the Gryffindor Common Room for our patrols, revealing that Lupin is now ill in the hospital wing, I can’t help but swear about my bad luck, rather than show any kind of concern for my friend. 

“How’s your first day of NEWTs been, then? Already feeling the pressure?” 

“Not yet, I suppose.” I tell him, knowing full well that I’ve been far too occupied with Marlene to even remember how much homework I’ve received today. “Maybe it’s not sunk in yet. What about you,  _ Head Boy _ ? How does it feel?” 

“Really good, actually. I half-expected Longbottom and Prewett to get it but I suppose Dumbledore might be showing favouritism for his house if he made both of his Gryffindor prefects Head Boy and Girl. I suppose Tina and I will just have to do.” 

“I think you both make a good fit in the role,” I tell him truthfully. 

“Thanks, Lily. So, how was your summer?” 

We fall into step easily with one another, and even though my thoughts are consumed with my red-headed best friend, I can’t help but feel dazzled everytime he smiles at me or cracks a joke. It is  _ easy _ . 

But, our peaceful night is interrupted with a large, echoing rattle as we patrol by the front doors. 

“I’ll go check it out, why won’t you carry on with the route and I’ll catch up?” 

“Okay.” I smile, even as Embry runs off towards the source of the sound. 

“Stupid Marlene.” I mutter to myself as I scuff my shoes against the stone floor, feeling satisfied at the sound. 

“Alright, Evans?” My head snaps up, hardly believing that James Potter is smirking at me, whilst breaking his curfew. “What are you doing out so late?” 

“Patrolling. And I should be asking  _ you both _ that question.” 

Peter Pettigrew shuffles nervously on his feet beside Potter. 

“We just fancied a moonlit stroll. Lovely big, full moon out tonight, Evans.” 

“Well, you can both admire it from your dorm, can’t you, Potter. You’re not supposed to be wandering about.” 

“I just wanted to say sorry for my behaviour the past few days. I’ve been a right old wanker.” 

“Why are you apologising?” I ask, feeling my temper rise. “It’s been absolute bliss not having to block out your arrogance, your stupidity and your overall wank behaviour.” 

Peter whistles out a breath as Potter smirks. 

“Ouch, Evans, now tell me how you really feel.” 

“I feel like giving you detention for breaking curfew.” I snap back, definitely knowing my temper was about to overload. 

“And why would we?” Potter crosses his arms now. “When you’re dishing out these fantastic insults. Do Pettigrew, next.” He laughs a boyish laugh, which insults me even further. 

“I feel so indescribably  _ angry _ that you claim to be so righteous with your Gryffindor Captain  _ swagger _ and yet you won’t listen to your Gryffindor prefect when she tells you that you’re breaking curfew. Go to bed or it’s detention for you.” 

Potter pauses, eyeing me up and down as he practises his words on his lips. 

“Well, Evans, looks like you’ll have to write me up and tell Filch to bring out his shackles.” 

“Okay Potter,” I say, feeling my voice getting louder, verging on a shout. “Detention tomorrow night.”

“Everything okay here, Lily?” Embry strolls back towards us, his wand illuminated with a Lumos charm and he looks startled at Peter and Potter. “You two should be in a bed.” 

“Don’t worry Perfect Prefect, Evans has already given us the speech, dished out the detentions.” Potter responds, laughing at Embry, pushing my temper to its absolute limits. “You should give Evans employee of the month or something, she’s very good.” 

“ _ Perfect Prefect _ , Potter, you are  _ incorrigible _ .” I shout, feeling my temper reach its boiling point. “At least Embry knows how to listen to a girl rather than being downright  _ rude _ . Just go to bed before  _ I  _ have something to apologise for.” 

“Night, Evans. Night Shepherd.” Potter says, smirking as the two of them walk away, subtly looking back towards us as the two of us watch them round the corner, out of sight, and hopefully making their way back to the common room. 

  
  



	4. James' Lessons

"That's what you get for losing the invisibility cloak like the prat you are, just to speak to her." Peter laughs at breakfast the morning after Lily's dishing out of detention. 

"What? The pact!" Sirius yells as he scoffs some fried eggs into his mouth.

"Alright, alright. That can be strike one." I promise Sirius. "I really only did it to scare her off from the big, scary werewolf that is wandering around the school grounds."

"Not so loud, mate." Remus mutters from behind his toast.

"But Moony, cmon, you like Evans." I remind him, waving my own piece of toast into his unimpressed face. "Surely you'd prefer her to be alive and your friend than say, dead and your friend."

"They could've been moon buddies." Peter offers, and whilst the phrase moon buddies would ordinarily tickle me, as it does to Sirius in the moment, I hold back a shiver at imagining Lily having to go through the same amount of pain every month as Moony endures.

"I'm allowed three strikes. After that, the pact is broken." I change the subject, to Sirius' delight.

"What will happen if the pact is broken?" Peter asks, looking towards Sirius who smirks at him, then at me.

"I'd rather not dwell on that Pete. I quite like being able to sleep at night." I say, stopping myself from glancing further down the table, knowing where she usually sits at breakfast. 

Padfoot finishes the last of his food, wiping his hands and sticking his tongue out at me playfully, dark eyes swimming in mischief. 

"Well, whilst you wonder what the darkest depths of my mind has in store for you," Padfoot says gleefully, "I have a date."

At this, both Remus and I choke on our drinks.

"A date?" Asks Remus.

"With?" I ask.

"I think you quite like her." He says, pretending to think hard whilst wagging his finger at me. "Red hair. Fiery temper. Goes by the name of Lily. And _we_ have Potions now."

"But we _all_ have Potions." I yell back as Sirius makes his way over to Lily, who, surprisingly is sitting beside Dorcas Meadowes this morning, whilst Marlene and MacDonald sit further down the benches. Odd. "Padfoot?" I call again, but I am ignored, watching my best friend sit beside Lily Evans, who _smiles_ at him.

"Imagine if after all this time, it's Padfoot that gets the girl."

"Don't even joke about it, Pete mate." I mutter darkly towards him, moving my eyes back to my half-eaten breakfast. 

Taking my glasses off, I begin to clean them against the sleeve of my jumper to distract myself. 

"Does that count as Strike Two?" Peter asks, not realising how far he is pushing my jealousy to its limits. 

"It should count as a minus strike as I didn't strangle you just for suggesting it."

"Well done, Prongs." Remus says, whilst patting me on the back as the three of us make our way to Potions now, too. "That means you're maturing, soon you'll have your antlers."

"But I already have..."

"Just go with the metaphor, Prongs."

Despite knowing that Sirius would do anything he could to give me the consequence of the broken pact, I can't help but enrage the jealousy within me by watching Evans and Sirius throughout the entire lesson.

He makes her smile as they chop up ingredients. It's a wide, kind smile that has never graced my presence before. And, as the class all begin to stir the ingredients, he makes her laugh! Not only that, but it's the sudden laugh that comes out in snorts, which, in turn, makes them both laugh harder until they're sniggering into the cauldron as the fumes of the Pepperup Potion fills the draughty dungeons. Beside me, Moony watches on also, whilst muttering every so often for me to blink or to even attempt at helping him to make the potion.

"What is making her laugh that much?" I ask him as she snorts for the third time in five minutes. Honestly, how can even a snort be adorable when it comes out of Lily Evans' nose?

"I don't know, mate."

"Do you think he likes her?"

"Definitely not, mate."

"Does _she_ like _him_?"

"Hmm... unlikely. Now, seriously are you going to help me with this-"

"Does a bloke really have to act like _Padfoot_ to get the girl?" I look again as he mockingly pretends to dip his pot of ink over the potion, which causes Lily to laugh so hard she covers her mouth. Even Slughorn, who ordinarily enjoys only the sound of a bubbling potion, does nothing but watch on as the two snigger and giggle in the corner of the room.

_Does a bloke really need to be Padfoot to make Lily laugh?_

"I mean... Padfoot and I... we're brothers. We're practically the same bloke."

"So surely if everything you've tried so far hasn't worked... Do you really think Padfoot will fare any better? Get real, Prongs. He's not trying to get the girl." Remus rolls his eyes even as I know too that I'm being melodramatic. 

I've always been used to Remus being close with Lily; there's no reason to be jealous of the two of them anymore, I've wasted too many hours of my life in the last five years. But, this is new. Padfoot and I are so alike. Yet now, he's closer to Lily than I've ever been.

Maybe I should've gotten Sirius' grades and Slughorn would've chosen _me_ to be partnered with Lily. 

"But he has inside information!" I gasp, leaning closer to the potion now, as if the fumes could grant me more clarity on the confusing situation. I almost feel like Peter, who often thinks that any type of fog is trying to give him a premonition. "He's seen what _not_ to do and now he's doing the opposite!"

"Prongs?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Will do." I respond, turning my body so that I'm facing Remus, rather than watching Sirius and Lily. 

Though, even with my sight now removed from spectating, my ears still ring everytime I hear the two of them laugh. 

"I'm sorry." I tell Sirius as we leave the Potions classroom half an hour later.

"And why's that Prongs, my dear old pal?"

"Because I've just spent the last two hours picturing many painful ways to make your death look like an accident." I tell him truthfully. "And yes, I was jealous but towards the end I really started hating myself for getting so jealous. Because she doesn't like you that way and you don't like her that way... right?"

"My, my Prongs. This is what we call a second strike." Sirius smirks at me, glancing over towards Lily who walks with Mary MacDonald. This is the second time today I've seen her without Marlene McKinnon; still a very strange sight to see. 

"Well, I'm not jealous because you're partnered with her. I'm jealous of the easy potions grade."

Peter snorts, Remus laughs and Sirius downright barks at the obvious lie.

"Three strikes and you are at my mercy," he laughs manically. "You really should start trying to get over this girl, Prongs. It almost turned you into a murderer."

"I'll see you three later, then." Peter mutters to us as he walks with us to McGonagall's classroom for Transfiguration.

"You okay, mate?" Remus asks Peter, who looks towards the three of us with sad, blue eyes.

"Just feeling a bit insecure to be honest." 

"About?"

"My place in the group. You three are all taking NEWT transfiguration. You figured out how to do the... the _thing_. How am I supposed to do it too, if I can't even get into a NEWT class?"

Peter confirms my suspicions over the past few weeks with his words, as he leaves Padfoot and I to transform into our animal selves; off spending the night with Remus as Peter spends his night in the dorm alone.

"Look, this weekend I can feel you getting it." Sirius says, taking a step closer to Peter, who sighs. "And you love Divination, so you've got to trust anyone's gut _feeling_. Chin up, Peter mate. We'll get there. Even if it takes staying up for a week straight, you'll soon be joining us as a... I wanna say some sort of cute rabbit."

"If I'm a rabbit I will kill myself." Peter responds, with only a glint of joking in his eye.

"A dragon it is!" I yell, and the three of my friends echo with a cheer. "See you later, Pete. Don't let it get you down!" I yell after him and the three of us enter the classroom.

The tables are moved from their usual places, leaving an open arena for us to stand in. McGonagall tells everyone to get into partners as we three are the last to enter the room, and just as I'm about to discuss Peter and the looming deadline of trying to help him transform into his animagus form, I'm struck still by the image of a lone Lily Evans.

My eyes look for Marlene, who again, has partnered the same Hufflepuff girl as yesterday. And before I can consider the repercussions, I am storming over to her with a proposition.

"Partners, Evans?" I ask, holding my wand up in a sign of peace. "Surely you'd want another Outstanding OWL student in your midst."

"Outsanding? I didn't get-" Her eyes morph from confusion to realisation as I reach the point at the same time as her.

"I beat you? In Transfiguration?" I laugh and she smiles even despite herself. "Oh, this must really hurt you, Evans. Tell me how it feels to be beaten by me."

"I'll tell you all about it when you're given the worst detention of them all." She smirks viciously, almost catching my breath in admiration. "Just think of everything I'm going to get you to do, _muggle style_."

"That's the only way I know how to do _it_." I say, before I even realise that I'm saying _it_ to _Lily Evans_ , she laughs. It's not as carefree as her laughter that I'd heard with Sirius, which hurts, but I try to focus on the positive; I made her _laugh._

I try to concentrate on McGonagall's instructions, as a dozen teacups are handed out around the room, that we are somehow expected to turn into _gerbils._ I can see Lily practising the wand movements that seem far more complicated than anything we ever learnt in our OWL year. How is that even possible?

"I'm not sure that I'm getting this right." She mutters to me, still practising the movement with her hand, without the teacup. "What do you think, Potter?"

I watch her carefully, ensuring that I'm actually paying attention to her hand, rather than her hair, her face, her eyes or her smile.

"Actually, you just need to..." I reach out towards her hand, before stopping myself.

"What?" She asks, looking from her wand to my hand. "If you can help..."

With permission, I place my hand on top of hers, moving her hands to trace the outline of the movement.

"See, you did this." I show her, my hand again softly resting against her, guiding her. "And this is what McGonagall showed us. Do you see?"

"Yeah, thanks." She answers and I quickly move my hand away from hers. "Thanks." She mutters again, and as she does, I'm glad that her eyes are concentrating on the wand, rather than noticing the blush that has taken over my face.

We wait for the teacups to make their way around to us and I turn towards Remus and Sirius.

"Strike three." Sirius mouths victoriously, as both of my mates hold up three fingers to me.

"What are they doing?" Lily looks too, and even the boys aren't quick enough to move their fingers from her sight. "What does the number three mean?"

"I think they're reminding me that there's only the three of us in this lesson... mustn't forget about Peter."

"That's the worst lie of all time." She's smiling as she says this, shaking her head so that red locks of hair dance across her cheek.

"I know."

We spend the rest of the Transfiguration in a comfortable silence. Despite any time I glance at Sirius and Remus they remind me of my third strike, I can't help but feel victorious as Lily calmly chats to me throughout the lesson. We talk about the added pressures of NEWTs, McGonagall's excellent teaching and even the Slug Club, no matter how much it makes her squirm.

I even feel hopeful as I think towards detention later that evening, as I eat my dinner happily besides my mates, even as Sirius stays suspiciously quiet about my third strike throughout our meal.

"Just a reminder, detention is at 8pm tonight Potter in the Trophy room." I nod, as I sip on some tomato soup. "You too, Black."

Just like that, the soup regurgitates itself as I choke on the unexpected information given to me by Lily.

"Come again, Evans?"

"Oh, _Evans_ had to give me detention earlier too." Sirius tells me, as if it had merely slipped his mind. "I thought I told you, Prongs. I told Lily about our two-way mirror too, I told her she may as well let us work together during detention. I promised her we'd be on our best behaviour. Even told her to bring some homework so she doesn't get bored with all of the _silence_ and _quiet hard work._ "

Motherfuc-

"Cool." I answer. "Two pairs of hands are definitely better than one."

"See you at 8." Lily smiles, walking back towards the Gyrffindor table. She doesn't sit beside Marlene, who isn't even present at dinner this evening, but sits with Mary and Dorcas, laughing along with whatever they were talking about.

"So, this is my consequence? _You_ getting a _detention_?"

"No, being the world's largest cockblocker is better than any kind of broken part consequence that my dark brain could give you."

His groan satisfies me as my fist makes contact with his groin.

"Maybe, I _slightly_ deserve that." 


	5. Lily's Detention

8pm rolls around and despite wishing that all I need to do for the rest of the day is to sleep, I pull myself from the comfy corner where I am sat with Dorcas and Mary and make my way to the trophy room.

Black and Potter are there already, huddled in the corner and it is Black who is whispering something angrily to Potter. Yet when they notice my entrance, they fall silent.

"Good evening Lily, how amazing it is to be in your presence for detention this evening." Black says, forcing a posh accent through his voice and he pulls a chair from the wall towards me. "You just tell us what you'd like us to clean and we can leave you peacefully for the evening. Isn't that right Prongs?"

It isn't the first time I've heard the bizarre nicknames that those boys call each other. Whilst Moony's is obvious, from an unfortunate incident of the boys pulling down his trousers one evening in the common room, Prongs and Padfoot, which are Potter and Black's names, are more illusive in their origins. Still, I don't bother to ask.

"Well, Filch said that you have to polish everything in those four cabinets." I point them out, two over in the far corner, one that is up a ladder and the fourth is beside my chair.

"Shall we start on these two Padfoot?" Potter asks, pointing towards the two cabinets that are closest to one another. "Then we can leave Evans in peace with her..." he glances over my hands to look at the textbooks I am holding. "Transfiguration homework."

Both boys grab off-white dishclothes and I can't hold back the snort as Black and Potter immediately begin to use them to whack each other at the back of the head. Then, they open the cabinets, snort at the name 'Wally Burgarse' and get to work in relative silence.

Many minutes pass with my Transfiguration textbook open at my feet, whilst my scroll of parchment balances on my knee. Yet in complete silence such as this, all I can conjure up from my brain is my name and the title of my essay. Even though I can't stand Potter most days, and have only _just_ begun to enjoy Black's company, I still feel as though I'm missing out.

I look back up to both boys, who are laughing and joking as they work; I imagine their time has flitted by effortlessly with their humour to speed time, whilst McGonagall's essay has made my minutes drag with such an effort.

"How's your homework going, Lily?" Sirius calls over, as if he's noticed me huff out of impatience one too many times. "You're more than welcome to watch our impeccable muggle skills."

I don't reply, instead, picking up my chair I walk slowly over towards them. I drop the chair near to them, sitting down with my essay still on my knee.

"You know, muggles wouldn't count being able to clean as a _skill_." I inform Sirius, and laugh as his smile falls from his boyish face.

"If this isn't a skill then _what is_?" He asks in horror. Sirius turns to Potter now, and asks him "Did you know about this James?"

"Unfortunately, I think it's true." Potter tells his friend, as he pulls down a dusty, silver cup from the case.

"Muggles would probably consider playing instruments as skills, or being able to paint or..."

"Driving?" Potter offers, using the cup he is polishing as a mock-driving wheel. "I reckon I'd be a good driver."

"You'd be too caught up with your own reflection to concentrate on the road, Potter." I respond, rolling my eyes as Potter blushes slightly at the jibe. 

"Pfft. Give me a motorcycle any day. That's the only muggle contraption I'll need." Sirius scoffs.

"Would you want to drive a motorcycle?" I ask Sirius, and Potter rolls his eyes at the question.

"Oh, I already do, Evans." Sirius tells me with pride splattered across his face. "Best muggle invention of all time there. Well, that and cigarettes."

I'm not surprised that Sirius reveals he smokes. He is exactly the type. I can imagine Sirius easily fitting into the muggle world; dressed in motorcycle leathers as he necks down a pint before pulling out a pack of cigarettes, winking at the women who look at him in wonder and admiration.

Potter on the other hand, spends more time using his wand than his hands. If he's not sauntering around the castle then he's on his overly priced broomstick. No, James Potter couldn't be a muggle.

We fall into a silence and I sigh once again as I pull the Transfiguration textbook closer to my face, trying to make sense of the words that I have already read four times.

"Are you okay?" I look up and it is Potter who asked me this question, rather than Sirius, who continues to shine a trophy on the bottom shelf of the cabinet.

"I didn't think taking Transfiguration would be this _hard_. Our first essay is due in a week and I can't make any sense of it."

"I can have a look if you like?" He offers, putting his dishcloth down next to his foot.

For a millisecond, Sirius pauses on the trophy that he is polishing, looking at his mate. But, whatever he planned on saying dies on his lips, as he turns back to his trophy. 

"I'm sure it's not as bad as you think it is, Evans. Maybe you're overcomplicating it. Sometimes with Transfiguration it's best to find the simplicity."

"Isn't it bad enough that you've helped me once today with Transfiguration?" I ask, and the memory of his hand on mine as he kindly showed me the wand movement crops back into my head, followed quickly by the blush on his cheeks that he'd clearly tried desperately to hide. Potter smirks, and just as I know he is about to tease me over our OWL grades, I beat him to it. 

"I can't help having a natural talent, Evans." Potter smirks even wider. 

"On second thought, I don't think I accept help from big-headed pigs." I try to shuffle, but in an instant Potter has taken the textbook from my lap and begins to read, ignoring my name-calling once more until he begins to snort like a pig. "When will you stop holding your higher grade over my head?"

"I'll be holding it over your head for as long as you keep me around, Evans." Potter replies, and I look into his brown eyes to see them only filled with happiness.

Sirius coughs and mutters the number four under his breath, which causes us both to turn to him.

"You know, if you two are going to talk Transfiguration all night, I'd rather just go and start working on that particularly interesting corner over there." Sirius tells us and quickly stands up to walk over towards a different cabinet.

Just as we begin to look through my notes that I made during today's lesson, Sirius' shout echoes throughout the room:

"Oh for fuck's-"

"What's the matter, Sirius?" Potter stands to his feet and even I pause to look over at him.

Even though I have only just begun this tentative friendship with Sirius during Potions, the pain on his face is recognisable. Never before have I seen his eyes and nose scrunch up as he runs his fingers through his dark, chin-length hair. "Are you alright?"

Without another word to me, filled only with concern for his friend, Potter walks over towards Sirius. The two engage in a quiet, short conversation and even though my curiosity is piqued, I attempt to re-read my notes on my lap, rather than to eavesdrop.

"Honestly mate it's fine, just switch with me. I'll give them a nice polish on your behalf."

I hear Potter say to Sirius, before Sirius is the one who walks back over towards me and Potter sits on the floor, occupying the space that Sirius just had.

"We've switched, Lily. I'd switch too if I were you, I'm shit at Transfiguration."

My heart hammers in my chest as I move the chair back towards Potter, who has taken the first trophy from the cabinet and shines it with a scowl.

"So..." I begin, as Potter and I fall into a silence.

"Sorry, Evans." He apologises suddenly, grabbing the textbook that I brought over with me. "I got distracted." He places the cup down beside me, and it's been polished enough that I can now see the name on the cup: _Orion Black_.

And as my eyes glaze over the cabinet, I see all of the surnames; even without growing up in the wizarding world I know all about Black's family, what they believe in and why it is so impressive that Sirius has ended up the way that he has. His brother Regulus is a prime example of what can happen when growing up in the House of Black, proving that Sirius, beneath it all, is probably a very decent bloke.

"It's really nice that you and Sirius are such good friends." I tell Potter, changing the subject entirely from Transfiguration. His eye glances away from the textbook, towards the cup beside his foot.

"Yep. We're practically brothers at this point."

"I'm glad he has you for a brother."

He pauses, just for a second and the smile that replaces the cocky grin is a smile that I've very rarely seen. I shake my head to push the glee of creating such a smile to the back of my mind.

"Me too." Potter replies. "We spent the whole summer together. He learnt how to ride his motorcycle in the woods by my house. There's this lake that takes about twenty minutes to walk to and so I just spent the whole summer in the lake or flying whilst taking the piss everytime he fell off."

"It's extraordinary, isn't it." I say, before I can even stop myself. Potter begins to polish the trophy again.

"What is?"

"That he was raised in an environment that hates me. It's probably all he heard growing up and yet-"

"Yet he's a decent bloke?" Potter offers to finish my sentence. He looks up to me as he says this and our eyes meet.

"Yet he's nothing but nice to me." I say. "I sit with him in Potions and I wonder why it's taken this long for us to become _friends_. Because, and I'm sure you already know, being his best friend and all, I can't help but wonder what or who happened to make sure that he stayed on this right path. Is it just the way it is? Or is it something more? Being in Gryffindor away from some of those maniacs like Avery and Mulciber in Slytherin, or is it his friendship with Remus and Peter and... you?"

Potter looks down now, sighing as he laughs to himself. His brown hair falls down to his forehead like a curtain, even shielding his eyes from view. He runs his fingers through it now, looking up at me after a moment, as if he has spent the last minute forcing his gaze below and our eyes meet.

"Remus was right." He says, catching me off-guard that in the last three minutes our conversation has gone from Transfiguration, to Sirius, and now to Remus, our only shared friend.

"About what?"

His eyes fall again, a cup showcasing the accomplishments of a Black family member falling between us. I wonder if Potter's pure-blood relatives were ever like the Blacks?

"You really are the sweetest girl anyone will ever meet."

There it is. Somehow, he brings his eyes to look back up to me again. He will notice the blush that has already broken out onto my face and I don't know whether to laugh, smile or cry. I can't help but detach my gaze from his kind, brown eyes; have they always been this kind?

Silence ensues. I can't help it because even as my brain is swimming with how I could ever possibly respond, all I can hear is the echoes as it reverberates against my brain and I'm surprised it hasn't shattered my skull and echoed across this draughty room.

"That might be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

"Well, they're Remus's words, not mine." He shrugs, polishing a shield, bringing back a copper shine.

"You said them to me though." I say, knowing that despite him not originating the words, he made the choice to speak them aloud.

"True."

And even if it were Potter who said it to me, and even as I make myself a promise to repay Potter one day for saying them to me, I also know that somehow, someway I will repay that kindness back to Remus too.

"Are we finished?" Sirius asks, breaking us away from our eye contact.

"Not yet, Padfoot." Potter sighs, picking up another trophy from the cabinet.

"You know, you've both worked nonstop. I don't mind if we finish now as I'm sure you both have more important things to be doing." I say to them. In an instant, Potter puts down the trophy and Sirius pulls me into a hug. One of those hugs where his arms fully wrap around me and enclose me.

"Thank you, Lily. You're an angel." He says as he pulls away from the hug. "I quite like having you as a friend, you make my life a lot easier than Moony does as a Prefect."

"I can always make you stay longer?" I offer, to which both boys jokingly begin to gasp and gather up their things.

"You can't take it back, Lily! You said we could go!" Sirius says, throwing his blackened dishcloth onto the floor.

"Anyway, who said we were friends!" I shout after both boys as they begin a speed walk to the doorway.

"Oh, we're friends Lily!" Sirius shouts back as they disappear from view.

I laugh, realising that yes, we probably are friends now. Perhaps not yet so much with Potter, but his sweetest girl comment has definitely given him a big push in the right direction.

"You are such a prat, Prongs." I hear Sirius say, echoing loudly in the corridors as I walk back to the Common Room, somehow having caught up to them enough.

"Okay, I know I'm now on probably four strikes so perhaps it's time to re-negotiate. But Sirius, I won't lie, it's definitely worth it."

"You won't be thinking that when I finally dish you your first consequence." 


	6. Chapter 6: James' Detention

"I do think we need a re-negotiation of the terms of our pact." Sirius tells me as we walk back to the Common Room. Part of me feels guilty for leaving Lily as she packed up her homework, but, knowing that Sirius is around, he would've made me feel more guilty for staying.

"Okay. What are the terms?"

"Well, I think you'd best hear the consequence from me."

"Let's have it then." I say, wondering what consequence he has finally settled on.

"Okay, over the past few days I've come to realise you're actually a jealous prat when you see Lily and I getting along."

"Go on..." I prompt; I don't like the sound of this.

"So, the consequence from breaking the pact is that I take dear old Lily aside and tell her that I'm in love with her. That I've always been in love with her and that I can't live without her."

"You can't be serious," I laugh.

"Well... I am. Both in name and mindset. I reckon it will drive you mad just enough to wonder if it gets _her_ wondering if she's in love with me too, but also you'd be well-aware that Lily probably wouldn't be daft enough to take me seriously."

"You're diabolical." I laugh, running an anxious hand through my hair. Well, no more strikes for me. "And you?"  
"I've yet to break our pact dear Prongs. So, I'll stay exactly as I am."

"And you're okay with that? No more contact with your brother?"

" _You're_ my brother, Prongs. Not that prat that I grew up with in that vile house. Which, by the way..." He stops in the corridor, looking around the corridor, despite curfew now being in place. "Thanks for covering me back there. I don't think I could've dealt with hours of polishing all of the Hogwarts accolades of my fore-fathers."

"Anytime, Padfoot." I slap a hand on his back. This is our language, keeping it casual but always being there for one another. "Have you thought any more about what you'll do at Christmas? I know it's a few weeks away but you know you're always welcome-"

"Yeah, yeah. I think I'll stay. It's either your place or Hogwarts and I reckon I'd be bored stiff without you around anyway."

"I'll send an owl to mum and let her know."

"Let's be honest, Prongs, she's probably expecting it anyway." I nod, knowing that my mum had already sent two letters in the past few days and in them she'd assumed she'd be seeing the two of us over Christmas.

"What about... the future?" I ask.

Before I'm answered, wondering if, after Sirius only lasting five days with his family last summer, he would finally pluck up the courage to move into the room that we had already labelled as his, we are, and there is no other word for it, ambushed.

Behind us, out from the shadows, Snape and Mulciber appear. But, before we can even comprehend their sudden appearance, Avery and Wilkes smirk ahead of us. Four against two. Fantastic.

"Good evening, all. Lovely night for a stroll, isn't it." Sirius jokes, and, watching the harmful glint in Avery's eyes glow with hatred, I nudge him in the ribs. Easy, Padfoot.

"What are you two blood traitors doing out on a night like this?"

"Well, we just had a detention with a fine, fantastic and talented muggle born, of course." With my eyes trained behind me, as Sirius watches the pair in front, I watch Snape's wand twitch in his hand. Of course he knows to which witch we are referring to.

"Look, we've had a long evening and Sirius and I would much rather just get to bed."

"You think we'll let you just go?" Mulciber replies, his voice low. "Walking around like you think you own the place, staining the walls of this place with your _ideals_ , consorting with-"

"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you." I say, taking a step towards Mulciber and Snape. I breathe in slowly, trying to keep my temper under control.

"Mudbloods." Finishes Snape, and he flashes white teeth, a menacing smile. He's trying to bait me into starting the fight.

I nudge Sirius once more as I feel him beside me, shaking with fury. This is dangerous. This is not a clever fight to get into.

"Just try and convince us to let you go. You're outnumbered. Isn't this proof of how it always will be? One day your _ideals_ will get you killed."

"Or maybe yours will you." Sirius responds, biting his lip as his retort spits out of his mouth, pure anger.

"Or maybe it'll be your mudblood friends first." Sirius' head tips against his neck, cracking it as Avery continues. "What would your parents think if they could see you?"

"Honestly, I'd hope that the heart attack would kill them." Sirius responds, but the humour is not present in his voice, even as he forces out a laugh. "Well, this has been fun. I think we've learnt new things about each other but Potter and I are just headed to sleep, so, if you'll excuse-"

"Bombarda." Avery casts the first curse, just as Sirius takes his first step towards him, back towards our Common Room.

My arm fires in front of Sirius, a natural attempt at protection, meaning that my body is knocked backwards, my arm slamming into Sirius which knocks him into the wall as I fall to the ground. There's no time to waste. Pushing myself upwards on the now-injured arm, I face Snape and Mulciber, as Sirius heads against Wilkes and Avery.

Sirius easily locks Wilkes away in a leg-locking curse, as she screams viciously and Avery fires another curse towards Sirius, though this time it's wordless. How did they learn to do that?

In front of me, Snape fires a curse, which shoots red jets and I narrowly avoid it, looking behind to check it hadn't hit Sirius instead. Following Sirius' lead, I fire a leg-locking charm at Snape, which thankfully holds. Snape, now immobile, is the least of my issues.

"Well that was fun Snivelly." I jibe, as Mulciber shouts in anger.

"This is what you get for mixing with mudbloods - _stupefy_!" The stunning spell hits me fast and strong. As I am knocked to the floor for the second time, this time I'm flown towards the floor, groaning as my head makes a cracking contact with the wall.

"James!" Calls out Sirius, temporarily distracted as Wilkes, now out of her leg-locking charm, sends a curse towards him, something I've never seen before, as Sirius gasps at several long cuts appearing on his arms and neck. "Fuck you."

But, whether Sirius is now aiming to temporarily immobilise them or now to harm, he is interrupted.

"STOP." McGonagall, with her dressing gown gathered around her casts _protego_ as the Slytherins are knocked away from us. Immediately seeing me on the floor, McGonagall rushes towards me, holding out her arm as she helps me to my feet.

"You okay, Prongs?" Sirius asks, looking me over. It's only then I realise that there is blood on my sleeve.

"We were outnumbered, Professor." I tell her, looking desperately into her eyes.

"You four are to go to Professor Slughorn's office _immediately_. You are not to tell him what happened until _I am present_. I am going to get Professor Dumbledore and I hope all _six_ of you have an explanation for this."

The four Slytherins walk away, holding onto their wands and breathing murderous breaths. With Sirius holding me up on one side, McGonagall holds me up on the other.

"We are going to see Professor Dumbledore and then we'll get you fixed up, Potter. I want to hear _everything_ that happened."

"It wasn't our fault Professor, I promise." Sirius tells her desperately from beneath my arm.

"For once, I believe that Mr Black."

Dumbledore is head-to-toe in magenta robes when we emerge to his office. Did he not sleep? Or is he always ready in his robes for an emergency?

"Ah, Mr Black and Mr Potter."

"We were ambushed on our way back from detention, Sir. I _promise_ we tried to walk away. We didn't walk into the duel willingly. We _tried_ to stop it."

"Start from the very beginning Mr Black."

So, Sirius holds nothing back. He tells Dumbledore about our pact (my side, obviously) and how Sirius thought the best way to get back at me would be to get into detention himself so that I couldn't have any time with Lily. Though Dumbledore shows humour at the situation in his eyes, mercifully, he doesn't make any jibing remarks about a pact to not even _look_ at the girl I fancy. Then, he moves onto the detention itself. How we had been polishing trophies, that I had polished the trophies of the Black family to spare Sirius the pain of having to look at his well-accomplished, yet equally as evil family, then, to leaving detention. From discussing our re-negotiations, to their ridiculous jibes about muggle-borns.

"We tried to stop it, Professor. Sirius and I both did." I tell him, yet as I speak I feel myself begin to wobble unsteadily.

"Please, sit down Mr Potter."

"Thank you Professor." I slump into the chair, whilst, at the same moment, McGonagall, who had been like a statue until this point, fixed the wound in the back of my head.

"Now, we appear we have reached something that perhaps... may be a bitter pill for the two of you to swallow." Dumbledore says, and, recognising the seriousness of his voice, Sirius sits beside me. "I will not insult either of you boys' intelligence by assuming you know nothing that is happening on the outside world. I'm sure you both know more than any the current _ideals_ that are floating around our community. It appears that some of our Slytherin peers, perhaps through each other or through their own families or perhaps even both, are beginning to show their own opinions more openly, sensing a change in the winds, one could say."

Neither of us breathe. Whilst the _mudblood_ jibes had often cropped up very rarely, this had become much more often. In the outside world, newspapers were beginning to report on vicious attacks on muggles, but never had the two been connected. Anti-muggle can lead into anti-muggle born witches and wizards. Anti-Lily.

"If I act severely on their actions, those same parents may think it prudent to remove their students from their school for.... Ah... acting upon their freedom of speech one could say. Then, how could I sense the changing in the winds if I am no longer able to _observe_? Do you understand my meaning?"

"So, you're saying you'll do nothing." Sirius says, catching on quicker than me.

Dumbledore, with his wise eyes, looks sadly at Sirius.

"Not nothing. The removal of house points for duelling, certainly. Harshly. Because your friend Mr Potter has been injured. But... acting upon their other actions..."

"Their bigoted views, you mean." Sirius interrupts Dumbledore at once. I don't even need to look at his face to know that it will be painted with a fiery emotion of anger.

"If I can no longer spectate, how can I know how quickly the winds are changing?"

"Who gives a fuck about the wind?" Sirius bites back. McGonagall gasps. Dumbledore remains stoic. "Next time it may not be one of us. Next time it may be one muggle born with no McGonagall happening upon her." As he says _her,_ I know immediately that Sirius is thinking of Lily. "Then it's a hate crime."

"Which is why I'll be sure to keep every student safe, Mr Black. But, there must also be eyes and ears. We must keep our heads down and _observe_. All of us."

"And do nothing." I summarise, finally catching Dumbledore's train of thought.

Minutes after we leave, the both of us walking in silence, we reach the Fat Lady's portrait.

"You know Prongs, doing nothing doesn't sound much like us."

"I was thinking the exact same thing Padfoot, my pal." I say. "If a bloke like Dumbledore isn't protecting and standing up vocally for the muggle borns, then who will?"

"Are you worried about Lily?" I snort at him in response to Sirius' question. What a stupid, dimwitted question.

"I'm _constantly_ worried about Evans." I tell him. "I know we're not friends. But... well... I suppose you _are_ now."

"So that makes me worry too," Sirius tells me, as if it is the most simple thing in the world. "By the way, that's strike five." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We love a protective Sirius Black. How wholesome.


	7. Lily's Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily receives more than she bargained for on this particular Halloween...

September and October somehow fly by in a whirl of NEWT homework, hilarious Potions lessons with Sirius and the continuing cold shoulder from Marlene. Every attempt at entering a room that Marlene McKinnon occupies usually ends with a silent glare or her exit. Despite my many futile attempts, Mary's concerned questions and Dorcas' one disastrous line of questioning, Marlene has kept her distance from me. Everyday, as I pull myself up for breakfast I think fondly back to our first morning, as Marlene and I danced, getting ready for breakfast.

 _You look so pretty today_. She'd told me on our way down. Then, somehow it had spiralled out of control. Was it Embry? Was it McGonagall? Something or someone had turned her against me and no matter how many times I thought and retraced my every action, rehearsed my every word, I couldn't connect the dots.

Today, I sit beside Remus as we eat breakfast and it's only when the pumpkins jump at our fingers as we eat the food that I realise what day it is.

"Halloween," I say, not personally to Remus but more to myself.

"Not a fan?"

"Usually, yes." I tell him. "Guess I've got a lot on my mind these past few weeks."

"Marlene?" Remus asks.

This is why Remus and I's friendship is so easy. Despite never mentioning our issues, he had already come to his own conclusion. Remus is a specific boy, who can easily realise what is going on around him.

"Yeah."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not today, but maybe soon?" I look at him, and Remus nods whilst smiling at me. Gently, I rest my head on his shoulder, feeling as though the world is a little bit better when I'm by the side of my friend.

"I'm feeling very torn at the moment, Lily." Remus tells me, suddenly serious. "I feel like I should warn you that P-"

Whatever Remus had been about to warn me about has died on his lips. For, at that exact moment, above us in the air, orange and black confetti explode in a multitude of patterns and sounds. Many scream in shock as the great hall looks above their heads, looking in wonder. Immediately, I know that Remus had been about to warn me about a prank. And since he'd been about to say 'p', I know exactly who is responsible: Potter.

What I don't expect is my own face to suddenly be created, in a swirl of orange confetti as black confetti dances around my own face, suddenly spelling out words that make me feel sick.

**MUGGLE BORNS FOR THE CROWN.**

Then, fearing the worst, the words jumple together, as if huddled in their own mischief, ready to cast another stinging blow.

**THE SUPERIOR RACE? WE THINK SO.**

As this is painted across the ceiling of the Hall, many begin to find my face, and Remus places an arm around my back as I shrink further into him. What is happening? Why would Potter do this?

The Slytherins crane their necks across the room to look at me, as Avery and Mulciber mutter things that I can only assume bear words that wish to cause me harm. Revenna Wilkes, the Slytherin Prefect blushes a red rage across her cheeks, and when her eyes find mine I can easily read the words she speaks on her lips

 _Mudblood_.

"Fuck." I swear, as Mary, watches the confetti with her mouth agape. She looks to me in horror, rising from her seat to sit beside me.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

"How can I?" I answer, feeling all of the blood rush to my head. My breathing comes out in chokes as my hands shake, pinned beneath my thighs as I push them down against the wood, trying to feel anything, so that I can still know I'm in my body. Otherwise I think I'd stop breathing.

"WHERE IS SHE?" In runs Black, looking down the Gryffindor table. His smile is wide and proud, as Potter stands at the back of the hall.

His eyes meet mine, as my head continues to be pressed against Remus' shoulder, and Mary watches as the confetti spell out more horrendous words:

**OUR MUGGLE QUEEN**

"Lily?" He calls, grabbing onto Marlene's shoulders before realising that she is not me. Marlene pulls her shoulder roughly out of his hands.

Potter still stares with a serious expression, watching my face in shock as he begins to run towards Sirius. Perhaps to join in?

"Lily. There is something I must announce." Sirius shouts, as the Great Hall watches on, many Gryffindors watching in horror. Slytherins watching with disgust. "I know I'm only a Pureblood, and that I should never be deserving of you, but _I love you_. I will _always_ love you and I have always loved you. I don't think anything could stop me from screaming it to the world. I, Sirius Black, a _lowly_ Pureblood love you Lily Evans, you fantastic, talented, beautiful _muggle_ born witch." He looks over his shoulder, towards the Slytherin table in victory as many begin to get to their feet, the usual suspects who spout their vile words leaving to get away from Sirius' words.

"Sirius. Stop, mate." Potter catches up to him, placing a hand on his shoulder as his eyes dart over my face.

"I'm so sorry, Lily." Remus tells me. "I told them not to do it but I also couldn't do enough to stop it. I'm sorry."

"Honestly, he did Evans." I hold my hand up to silence Potter, barely able to comprehend the seriousness of what had just happened.

"It's fine Remus. You didn't join in. It's fine. I forgive you."

"Evans, it was all my idea." Potter spills quickly and quietly. "See, we had a duel with some Slytherins and they said some less than nice things about muggle borns and we just wanted to make a _statement_. That they are wrong, and that you-"

I stand, which silences him. All eyes, including the eyes of the teachers at the top table, are on me. Quickly, embarrassment fuelling my energy to get out of there as quickly as possible, I walk out of the Great Hall. But still, I can hear the calls of _Evans_ behind me, and there are only two people who call me Evans, and the one I'd prefer still isn't talking to me.

"Evans, please stop. I only realised how stupid it was when I saw your face." He calls after me, drawing attention from some younger Hufflepuff students who watch us with fascination. "By then it was too late to stop. Please don't blame Sirius. I was just so _furious_ at those Slytherins and the way they talk about muggle borns and they're _wrong_."

"So what?" I round towards him, wand quivering in my hand as I suppress the urge to hex his stupid, stupid face. His eyes widen behind his glasses, stopping his feet so that we are now only two metres apart. "You decided to make me the poster girl of Hogwarts for _mudbloods_. Did I ask for that? Did I even ask for your solidarity? I didn't."

"I'm-"

"You have no idea what it is like to spend all of your time here playing catchup." I think on of my Boggart, my fear, showing me exactly how useless I am, how I'll never belong. "I learn something new everyday, otherwise I'd look like a complete fool. How _dare_ you turn me into the poster girl for something that is so much bigger than pissing off some Slytherins!" I press my wand into his chest.

"They could be _dangerous_." I remind him, and I watch his adam's apple bob up and down as he swallows down his words, letting me speak, to use my voice. "And they probably are."


End file.
